1. Jesus would never kick you out of his rally.
2. TrusTED? No Trust Jesus.
3. The only top secret message I want to send to you on my e-mail server is that Jesus loves you.
4. You will "feel the burn" if you die without Christ.
5. The hands of Jesus are big enough to hold you forever.
6. What does GOP stand for? To me it means "God Our Provider!"
7. What does DNC stand for? To me it means "Don't Neglect Christ!"
8. Ben Carson may be done but Jesus is just getting started.
9. Bet everything on Jesus like Rubio's betting everything on Florida!
10. Don't punch a protester. Punch the devil.
What other horrible political segues could you use to bring Jesus up? (and please, don't actually use them!)