It was three years ago I had "the talk" with my son Jeremy, who was eleven years old at the time. It happened to be while we were in Alaska on a fishing trip with six other ministry leaders and their sons (who all happened to be around Jeremy's age.)
I figured that there was no better place to have this potentially awkward conversation than in the wilderness of Alaska. And wilderness it was, we didn't see another soul for days as we canoed down a river in the heart of Alaska. It would never get any "manlier" than this, sharing the birds and the bees talk while eating a bear heart over a bonfire in Alaska. Okay, there was no bear heart but we did have a ton of Costco pre-cooked bacon and a ton of fish that we had caught along the way.
Before I left I had purchased one of those Focus on the Family sex talk books to walk through with Jeremy. I snuck it away in my backpack and broke it out when it was time to have the talk. I sat him down and explained God's gift of sex to humanity. I explained the biology of it, the morals of it (between a man and a woman in the context of marriage) and the reasons for it. This was no cold biological function designed just for reproduction. This was a gift from God for married couples to enjoy.
When I was done I asked Jeremy what he thought of it. He simply said, "Cool and gross."
When the other dads caught wind of my chat with Jeremy they asked to borrow the book and, one by one, these dads had the talk with their sons. We jokingly refer back to that trip as "the boys to men" tour.
Since then Jeremy and I had several chats about sex. I want him to have a Biblical view of this subject and not to shy away from it with shame. I told him he could ask me anything about anything and he has on several occasions.
That's why I'm so thrilled with Jonathan McKee's new book Sex Matters. With chapter titles like "Why Wait?", "How Far?", "Fleeing" and "The Lure of Port and Masturbation" it became a powerful conversation starter between my son and I.
What I love about Jonathan is that he deals with the tough questions in a balanced, Biblical way. He doesn't shy away from the hard stuff. He takes it on with a powerful dose of love, truth, realism and practical action steps.
This is a book every Christian teenager needs to read. I'd encourage parents and youth leaders to read the adult accompaniment to this book called More than Just the Talk. In a world that has twisted this great gift from God into 50 shades of perversion, Sex Matters reminds us that sex does matter. It matters to God and should matter to us.
Let's help our teenagers think rightly about sex.
Go here to get your copy of Sex Matters today.